Britney is the Best Performer in the World

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The whole world waited for this moment. This was supposed to be the night when Britney Spears made her comeback at the VMAs after three years of making babies and shaving every part of her body. Instead, she could barely move on stage, looked fat in whatever she was wearing and didn't even bother to sing along with the playback. Rihanna performed later with broken foot, and did much better then Britney.
The comeback is ruined. What a shock! I doubt Britney will ever have another number one hit. She has better chances at getting her virginity back and actually keeping it this time. Just like Sarah Silverman said in her unnecessary opening monologue, "by the age of 25 Britney already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life", and then she poked more fun at Britney and her kids and made an impression of Britney's vagina with her mouth. She also apologized to Paris Hilton for her awesome joke at MTV Movie Awards earlier this year. I think the apology was totally uncalled for. That stupid criminal porn star deserves to be made fun of.
Other than that, the VMAs sucked this year, more than any other year. I didn't really understand what was going on there with all the performances and parties at different locations. They put Maroon 5 on a balcony to perform and then cut to commercials in the middle of the song. Uncool!
Other notable events: Justin Timberlake and Timbaland dominated the night on every possible aspect; Kanye West got upset again for not winning anything; Kid Rock and Tommy Lee, both Pamela's exes, got into a fight with each other; Shia LaBeouf revealed the title of the new Indiana Jones movie; Jamie Fox couldn't shut up; Rihanna won Best Song and Video awards for Umbrella ella ella eh eh eh...