The Wheel Turns

Britney is back. The new album is out soon, the new song is No. 1 in the US and it looks like the bad days are forgotten. Who could have thought just a year ago that this would happen? Britney tried to make a comeback at 2007 VMAs, but her performance there only made things worse and the album flopped. But at this year's VMAs she unexpectedly won 3 awards for a so-so video and suddenly everybody loves Britney again.
The new video for "Womanizer" is sizzling hot and Britney is obviously naked in it, having fun as if she never was bald. Forget the rehab, the emotional breakdown, loser ex-husband, lost kids, horny sister and wearing short skirts in cars. Just keep those catchy addictive tunes coming and spice them up with steamy videos. The machine is back on track and life is good for Britney.
While we are all so happy for Britney getting her fame back, things don't look so good for the Queen. Madonna, the grandma of pop, is in trouble going through an ugly divorce with the British director Guy Ritchie who failed to make a single good movie while being married to her. It is still unknown who will get the kids and especially the African baby. Maybe Angelina will adopt him.

Why Wait?

Jamie Lynn Spears have always wanted to be like her older sister. But it took Britney over 8 years to become the huge, huge success that she is right now. She became famous for her music and anti-premarital sex propaganda, but soon gave up on that, dated Justin Timberlake, married Kevin Federline, had two kids, divorced, and now she is a single mom (if she ever gets her kids back) at the age of 25.
Jamie Lynn didn't want to do all that, so she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, broke up with him and now she is famous, single, pregnant and only 16. Mission accomplished.
According to new rumors, the father might not be the ex-boyfriend, but a producer of Jamie Lynn's TV show "Zoey 101". Or the whole crew. Or a grizzly bear.
The executives on Disney channel are now planning a sex-education program for teenager.
It will go something like this: pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears will come out and say "Hi kids, always use protection", then Mel Gibson will come out and say "Hi kids, don't drink and drive and don't hate people for their nationality" and then Michael Jackson will come out and say "Hi, kids...". (That wasn't very nice of me. I love him).
Meanwhile, Britney is going out with a paparazzi photographer. He sure is going to get a piece of her. I think this the first time a paparazzi is dating a celebrity in order to get make some photos of her. It's like going swimming with a shark and then punching it in the face.

Save a Whale, Save the World

Hayden Panettiere seems to be everywhere these days with her big head and unproportionally small body, being nice and helpful. That's not like Hollywood behavior at all! She should stop. Meanwhile, she attended some dolphins and whales event in Japan, which basically involved her running around in a bikini. I don't think that's fair. Dolphins and whales probably don't care whether she's wearing a bikini or not. They don't even know there's an event being thrown just for them and their survival. Speaking about whales, Britney Spears is in trouble and needs help. Hayden is a big fan of Britney's, why not save her instead of dolphins?

Britney is the Best Performer in the World

2000:

2002:

2003:

2004:

2007:
The whole world waited for this moment. This was supposed to be the night when Britney Spears made her comeback at the VMAs after three years of making babies and shaving every part of her body. Instead, she could barely move on stage, looked fat in whatever she was wearing and didn't even bother to sing along with the playback. Rihanna performed later with broken foot, and did much better then Britney.
The comeback is ruined. What a shock! I doubt Britney will ever have another number one hit. She has better chances at getting her virginity back and actually keeping it this time. Just like Sarah Silverman said in her unnecessary opening monologue, "by the age of 25 Britney already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life", and then she poked more fun at Britney and her kids and made an impression of Britney's vagina with her mouth. She also apologized to Paris Hilton for her awesome joke at MTV Movie Awards earlier this year. I think the apology was totally uncalled for. That stupid criminal porn star deserves to be made fun of.
Other than that, the VMAs sucked this year, more than any other year. I didn't really understand what was going on there with all the performances and parties at different locations. They put Maroon 5 on a balcony to perform and then cut to commercials in the middle of the song. Uncool!
Other notable events: Justin Timberlake and Timbaland dominated the night on every possible aspect; Kanye West got upset again for not winning anything; Kid Rock and Tommy Lee, both Pamela's exes, got into a fight with each other; Shia LaBeouf revealed the title of the new Indiana Jones movie; Jamie Fox couldn't shut up; Rihanna won Best Song and Video awards for Umbrella ella ella eh eh eh...

Britney Destroys Her Career, Again

How stupid is Britney Spears nowadays? Lets see: she dated Kevin Federline, she married the loser and had two kids with him, she let her kid drive a car, she divorced Kevin Federline, she went out with Paris Hilton and didn't bother to wear any underwear so that the whole world could see her vagina, she shaved her head bald to match her vagina, she attacked a photographer, she got drunk and molested some guys, she attacked another photographer, she got drunk again, and the beat goes on...
Now Britney is trying to make a comeback and recreate some of the success she'd had when she was still innocent and pure. Her ex-boyfriend and now the enormously successful pop singer, Justin Timberlake, wrote a song for both of them to sing in a duet, and the track was supposed to be produced by Timbaland, the hottest producer in the business. That song would've become a huge hit even before getting released. But Britney canceled the recording at the last minute.